Hello.

I am having my breakfast while doing this post. I'm having my last big chunk of the banana cake I baked a few weeks ago and of course coffee. :) Luckily, my tummy's not acting up anymore. I think it's safe to say that it was not the coffee. I just need to have breakfast. Haha That's why here I am, although it's quite late for 'breakfast' today. 

Last night, as I was having my prayer, I cried. I guess the anxiety of the possibility of going back to that dark place is starting to kick in. I am nervous, tbh. I am still not the complete version of shayneVER.2.0. I am still a work in progress. Argh. Kainis.

Like I said, I know I'm still far from the end of the tunnel and it's okay. I just want to be happy. I don't wana cry anymore. That's sooo kapoy kaya.

Help.

 Hello.

There are a lot of thoughts going inside. I have been praying fervently for the past months and I owe my sanity to that. I am not at my happiest but I am okay with what I have right now. I am alone but I've learned to adapt. Haha There are days that my fighting spirit is twice my height but there are still days where I would doubt if things will really get better at this point. I actually made a big mistake last week and I was about to be doomed. I prayed then boom, answered prayer. But the nega in me has still this 'what ifs'. I am trying to ward off those thoughts, promise, and to just believe. 

My journey is still far from the end of the tunnel but who knows, our 'fairies' could give us a ride. Haha I wish. This journey has been one heck of a ride to date. 

September is about to end and October is knocking. Argh. October. To be honest, I am skeptical about this month. If you know what I mean. I don't want to cry anymore but I'll bet my mole that I will. I'm nervous. I don't want to go back to that darkness again. Fingers crossed. Bahala na.

 A lot has happened. So, may our hearts' deepest desires be granted. Pretty please. 

Believe.Pray.

 TGIF!

It's still me, myself, and I but I've got plenty of things to be thankful. Yay!

1. Summer leave. So apparently, I still have 2 days of this leave to use. Haha. 

2. Bag. I finally bought it at mejj baga kog nawong, sinamahan ko ng wallet.

3. Payday. Since 21st falls on a holiday kaya advance ang sweldo. Haha And I was so happy with it. Haha Better than I calculated. Alhamdulillah. I was getting anxious if I'll have enough funds until October and tada, a good amount on this day.

Thank you so much!

Peace and Love. Haha

My mom called to chika that our imported cat is dead.  He was a spoiled cat. My mom would buy her treats from the pet shop. Haha The cat, Mismis as he was called was such a cutie and even won my dad who is not a fan of cats.

While talking to my mom I could feel the sadness in her voice. She always has a soft spot for cats. If she could just save all the stray cats ginawa na nya. And for the rescued cats, may budget ang food nila. Haha 

Ahhh. I hope the situation gets better na. Once again, it reminded me that life is too short.

Life.

 I just finished my dinner, 1 pc. of my homemade siopao, 1 slice of melon, mixed nuts, and choux cream. Unfortunately, it went down the toilet. Hayy, don't know what to do na. 

Well, moving on from that ED, I received an e-mail, a good one. Sana, until next year ganun na. Haha #goodnews

 And it's the same time of the month. 

It really hurtsssss... ang mgmahal ng ganito. Char char. Lol

But seriously speaking, mashakett talaga...ang both. #NotSoHugotMejjLang