Hello!

Last night, I spent the rest of the night trying to book a food delivery. Oops, wag judgmental, it's not for me. My tummy was fine. As we should, kasi wala pang sweldo. Hahaha. It was for my ate's partner based in Kobe pa. Di ba, Saitama-Kobe? She was sick daw kasi so my ate asked me if I can order food for her kasi 'kawawa naman' daw. Mapa sana all na lang talaga. Haha

How nice it is to have someone who makes effort despite the distance no? How nice it is to have someone that goes beyond 'Kain ka na dyan' and 'Inom ka gamot' when you're sick. Pwede pala yung ganun? Meron pa palang ganun? Haha.

This doesn't make me bitter but reminds me that no matter how ka jowang jowa na ako, I should never settle for less. I know what I deserve. I put my heart back into pieces by myself, hence, I don't owe any MAN for healing and completing me. 

I don't know what is God's plan for me but for now, I'll order food for myself muna. Haha In kaskas I trust. LOL

 Hello!

I realized something.

I realized that people really do think and believe that I am not a virgin anymore. Does it bother or matter to me? Tbh, yes, a little. But I do know that people will have that perception given that I spent almost five years with someone in the past ( 1yr. LDR tho). When we broke up, that's the least of my concern, you know doing the 'damage control' and clearing my name of any misconception or misunderstanding of the setup that we had. Oh well, that WAS love. Love pay nalitok. LOL But, really, the things you do for love. I cared so much about what people will think but when it's about him, I'd care less about what they would think. Hayyy, #neveragain. LOL

So, why did I open up about this? Well, apparently, he-who-must-not-be-named told people that we were on that level nung kami pa. Like, dude, seryoso? We made out a couple of times pero like SEX? Talaga lang ha? Baka ibang babae yun. Why? Why did he have to lie? Lies after lies? I guess that's the littlest respect he had for me no? 

I kept quiet about so many things and yet he had the audacity to spread lies.

I realized it's more difficult to explain why nothing happened after years of being together. Dapat ba may nangyari na lang? LOL

I'll leave it here. Dami pa dapat isipin and gawin. 

bye!

Hello!

Tara, let's talk about love while drinking my iced coffee. Haha

You know I realized I'm always late in everything when it comes to progress in life. I had my first relationship when I was 25, had my first international trip, and learned another language both at 26, became a teacher at 27, became engaged, and then single again at 29. Isn't that amazing? Haha Gotta be honest it's frustrating at times 'cause I feel that I am not on the 'normal' path like everyone else. I think that's why it took me some time ( err... a lot of time)  to move on from my heartbreak kasi at that time back to being single at 29 close to 30 ish, meh, that's terrible bro. But God has a different plan for me... I guess?

And now, I'm 31. Single. Oh, sige, let's talk about that. I'm actually enjoying my life right now. I'm more concerned about my financial status than my love life. Lol My love life worries me from time to time but not to the point of desperation. I do get the SANA ALL feels but wala eh. I'm ready, I know, but I'm not chasing. My friends would always tell me to make landi and all but hagu, kapoy, mou ii. Funny lang 'cause when the time came that I know I have moved on and all that's the time I uninstalled the dating apps. I guess it's not for me.. you know, tinder, OK cupid? No. I can't. I'm still for the organic which is ironic 'cause I'm too awkward. Haha Bahala na. I'm so ready to give love another chance but I'm not settling for the bare minimum. People might say 'murag gwapa' but first, gwapa jud ko, and second, why settle? Having standards doesn't equate to Mr. Perfect and duh, we all know Mr. Perfect doesn't exist. And as much as I love Kdramas, no, I'm not looking for an Oppa. I'm really not sure what to call or how to describe but I just want a MAN whom I can be ME, the imperfect and flawed ME. Does this person exist ba? Or pa ba? If that person exists or not, IDRC. Joke! Haha  I guess being single for this long probably has PROs as well. I found my great love. I waited for almost 3 decades nasa malapit lang pala, Shayne pala name niya. Haha Looooong story but my favorite of all time. :) #selflove

Instead of having this line 'Maybe my soulmate died, I don't know. Maybe I don't have a soul' be the song of my life, I'd prefer singing my heart out to this, 'Ug di ko mag duha-duha ug tikang. Kung mahulog ka andam ko mahulog uban. Bisag asa ta dal'on niining panahon.'

To Mr. Right: Hi, Love! Where na you? Hahaha See you! #LawOfManifestation Haha Tara??? Let's start our journey and conquer the world together. 💕

 Hello!

And summer vacation starts today. Yey! No more alarms and commuting in the morning. Hurray! But on the other hand, no sweldo as well. Meh. So, I went to this 'interview' for a part-time job hoping to earn some cash to aid my ailing budget. I was kinda skeptical since my visa is you know na. Hayy Pero push pa rin. But lo and behold, as expected, dame datte. So, I guess, puyo ta ug balay and make tipid as much as we can.

I went to Shibuya afterward with the goal of having the nose pad or piece of my glasses change. Moldy na sya and pangit na tingnan talaga. Haha Mejj skeptical din ako since I don't have the receipt na but fortunately, wala ng chechebureche, they changed it naman for free. Since I felt lucky, I had my other glasses' nose pad changed as well sa other store (ZOff) and successful naman.

Zero balance na talaga ako today and ilang days pa before sweldo. I had to borrow from my funds and I'm trying not to use my cc since limited ang budget ko for the following months. I didn't buy anything except for a cheap meal sa Wendy's. 

I walked a lot today, which means hindi ako lugi today. I hope I'll score a gig or two this month. I really need extra funds. Huhu

Gambare self! We got this! God will provide!

 Hello!

And we are overthinking again... self. We've got so much on our plate already. . Tingin sa harap. Lakad. Kung dumating man ang panahon na mapagod sa kakalakad, magpahinga. We're getting there self. I can already see the light at the end of the tunnel. Tanaw ko na ang pot of gold sa dulo ng bahaghari. Will you let your monsters win again? Ngayon pa ba?

NO.

 Hello!

Ang dami ko gusto sabihin but I'll leave it this way. 

YAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

 Hello!

It's been a while.

I did it!

I'm out of Takenotsuka.:) Finally, I was able to leave.

I'm happy that for the first time since I came here to Japan, I made a decision for myself. I finally found the courage to take responsibility and took this chance to rely to myself. Myself, my not-so-confident-overthinker-self. 

I've waited for so long for this moment. I'm happy.

But yea, you got it right. This post won't be complete without my worries and rants. Haha

Bills. I don't have any problem with living alone but the bills that await me scare me a lot. If there's one thing that I deeply regret is I forgot to consider the cost of living. Sure thing, Saitama City's really convenient but damn, tax and health insurance are also expensive. Yea, I'm doomed.

If there's one thing that I failed to appreciate in Adachi ku was their city hall's service. They're accommodating and not even once did I feel that I was not welcome. Chuo ku? Meh.

My mind's really full of worries about payables. I only have my salary to rely on but my bills are so greedy, they want it all. I want to live a decent life.

I pray everyday for the opportunity to b financially stable. I have recovered myself. Yay! And I don't wanna lose myself in this battle again. This one is different though but I'm gonna fight. I just need my weapon and armor. I will fight.