I have always been chubby, from baby days until now. And I have always been insecure about that. I am always cautious when it comes to topics about weight. I am always anxious that someone would say, 'Uyy, tumaba ka'. Of course the super duper sensitive me would get hurt but deep inside I want to scream, 'So whaaaaat?'. I am not the ultimate foodie but I do love foods. I love to eat. But with social pressure, I think I developed an eating disorder. I haven't been diagnosed yet and I am not really open to friends and family about this one. So, what is this ed that I have? I'd eat a normal size meal but I would throw it up later. I know, sayang the food di ba? And believe me, ayoko na. I want to eat peacefully without worrying about throwing up. I want to enjoy my food. I don't know why but there's something in my throat that I can't explain. No matter how I chew my food slowly, I would still end up facing the toilet bowl. And as much as I love garlic butter, garlic bread, and everything garlic, I'd usually take a trip to the great TB. Sucks. And I am not doing this on purpose cause believe it or not I'm still chubs. My tummy's gotten big like a preggo. Argh. 

Ahhhhhhh. I haven't eaten ng matino these past months and I kinda missed eating ng maayos. Gusto ko magkanin, magkamay and all but I can't....I am honestly thinking about eating with hands, mainit na kanin and bulad plus suka.....Arghhh. *drools*.

I kinda relapse yesterday and today actually. I threw everything up. BYe.