How to be whole again?

How to forget?

How can I stop this pain?

How can I wake up from this nightmare?

How can I trust again?

How??

They say I should fight for myself or else I will continue to be miserable. I am trying, as always. But right now, it`s so hard. It`s so hard that I don`t know what to say anymore. Have you cried your heart out everyday? Have you tried covering your mouth while crying because you don`t want your housemate to hear? Have you cried while taking a shower? Have you tried hiding in the comfort room and cry? Have you tried crying while brushing your teeth? Have you tried walking home and crying? Have you tried doing a blog post while crying? Funny indeed, cause I do, I did.

I thought PMS lang that`s why I was down days ago but hindi pala. It`s the same thing. I wish it`s easy as 1+1. I still believe this is not forever but pwede tama na? Pagod na pagod na ako. Ubos na ubos na ako oh. Nakataas na dalawang kamay ko. Tama na po. Ang sakit sakit na po.

Lilipas din ang lahat. Kelan? Sana kayanin ko pa. My mind is so full yet my heart is so empty.

How do I live?

I just wanna be free from this pain. I know I am not the kindest person in the world but please, I wanna be happy again. I want my happiness back. And I promise, hindi ko na sasayangin.